We live in a world that has constant noise. And there are so many views about what it takes to be healthy, happy, and successful. Who are you listening to? From the time we are little, we hear suggestions about what to eat, our career, who our friends should be, which new gadgets will free up our time or connect us with family. So, who should you listen to? Me…heehee…no, really? Who should we listen to?
In a recent post we discussed one of the road blocks to true contentment in life (titled: living someone else’s life). Asking your inner voice what you really want in life is one way to determine who’s life you are leading. But this is difficult to do if you do not have a healthy relationship with your inner voice.
With any relationship it is always a two way street. You get to do some of the talking, but the most important part is the listening.
Do you listen to your inner voice?
Does it even talk to you?
What does this have to do with being healthy and happy?
Let’s start with that last question. To answer that, you have to acknowledge what truly makes us happy. Inner contentment is way up there on the list of things we desire and strive for. This is what allows us to like ourselves and what we do. So if you find that you spend a lot of time ‘yelling’ at yourself or ‘belittling’ yourself, your relationship with your inner self is in jeopardy. A lack of peace has been linked to heart trouble, digestive trouble, headaches, and the list goes on. Many of us tend to block out that troubled voice by overcrowding our minds with voices or other noise from outside ourselves. Is this happening to you? One way to tell is by turning ALL noise off and seeing how comfortable you are with complete silence. Those not comfortable in the quiet usually have an inner voice that is screaming too loud.
How can you retrain your inner voice to provide positive, encouraging assistance?
1) The first step is recognition. You need to recognize what your inner voice is unhappy with and accept the fact that you will need to make conscious choices that provide a different result. This may include a different attitude, action, or belief. For example, do you no longer want to be angry, or let someone walk all over you, or have guilt feelings about what you eat or do for work. It goes on and on.
2) Decide how you want to be or act differently.
The first way is to notice the examples of those that act the way you would like to. For example, if anger is an issue, notice how those who are always mild tempered act and what their thought process or belief system is.
Secondly learn why you act or respond or think differently than you want to. Do you have unrealistic expectations? Are you not being authentic to your true self?
You can also take an experience that you are unhappy from and rewrite the story. This is not with a goal of changing the memory, but it will help you practice how to act, respond, think, feel differently next time.
3) Then gain info or input on how to do that. How can you do that? The most important piece of this is to find a reliable source to guide you. This may include a counselor, therapist, health coach. Part of your feeding program needs to include the fundamentals of love. This quality is the most powerful in the universe. I’m not talking about lovey-dovey stuff, although there is a place and time for that. I’m talking about the part of you that is not changed easily (the quality of love), not the part that shift with each new experience (the emotion of love). The best place to learn about how to live in a loving way and find contentment in our lives is to go to the source of this power, our Grand Creator.
4) At this point, you need to start practicing. Consciously act, respond, think differently. This is not easy. The bigger the shift the harder it may be. Remember it never goes the way you want the first few times. So when you see that you reverted back to old habits, do not beat yourself up. Any time we try to learn a new skill you will need to practice, accept some failures, and recognize ALL progress. But all of sudden, it will become a part of who you are. I know someone who doesn’t use the word failure. She replaces it with ‘experiment’. Doesn’t that give this whole process a new feel? If you are experimenting, then the expectation is different, isn’t it? And the reward for finding the right way is all the more precious.
So, who do you listen to? What does your inner voice say to you? Are you happy and content with who you are and does the inside match the outside?
These are all very important questions. And many people need help discovering the answers. Could you use a little clarity? Let’s walk through this process together.
More topics to come: Self Judgement, Pick your freedom, How color affects emotion, etc. Subscribe today!